What I Learned from my Social Media Detox

Hey my loves,

So, it’s been a while, huh? Now, I wanted to share my experience about my month off of social media with you. I decided at the end of December 2018 that I needed a little break from social media, just to focus on my work for College as well as to concentrate on my mental health. 

Here’s what I did:

  • I rearranged all my apps into folders on my phone and shut down all notifications. The only noise my phone was making was when I got a phone call.
  • Rather than to completely shut of the notifications from WhatsApp and iMessage I let the messages pop up without making a sound, just so that if I were to pick up my phone I would see that somebody messaged me. I didn’t want to cut of contact to my friends, since I am not in school anymore so I rarely see everyone.
  • I also did not go on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or Snapchat for an entire month. I did open Instagram once, but mainly because I’ve forgotten to turn of the notification count on it and got a message and it drove me insane not knowing what was going on. After that I turned that off, too.

Here’s what I learned:

  • Taking time off of social media is extremely hard and you need a lot of self-control. For the first few days I felt so much FOMO (fear of missing out) that I almost quit, but I kept telling myself: “Girl, it’s just pictures, it’s just some stupid news. You don’t have to see everything.” And that actually helped quite a lot.
  • I learned that I cherish a message a lot more when I actually take the time to properly read and answer and that I don’t need to answer right away. That the “sorry for answering so late”-feeling I got before, what just absolute garbage. I am not obliged to answer my messages with a certain time frame, I am not obliged to answer them at all. I answer, because I want to.
  • A lot of social media is fake. A lot of news are fake. A lot of what is shared is absolute nonsense.
  • I miss sharing moments with friends who cannot be there.
  • I like being connected to the world.
  • Being “offline” is the best way to re-center yourself and get a fresh perspective on things.
  • Sometimes a little deflection isn’t the worst, but not always necessary.
  • Put your phone down, when you want to go to sleep.

Have you ever gone a month offline? Tell me in the comments, I would love to know what your experiences were.

I wish you all a wonderful day!

XoXo, Jasmin.

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2018 Review and Why I’m Taking A Break From Social Media

Hey my loves,

Last day of 2018: Can you believe it? And what a year it has been.

2018 changed a lot for me, I changed a lot. I grew immensely with each challenge I have tackled this year and I have managed to find a new way of living a much happier lifestyle. Each struggle made me stronger and each new chapter enriched my life so much.

I am also thankful for all the people in my life. My best friends, who I consider family, are always there for me and lift me up. They are right beside me through the good and the bed. And my family, my heart, who endlessly support me in everything that I do. I have so many wonderful people in my life and I couldn’t be more grateful for that.

A lot has happened this year, I wrote a lot of papers for College this year – and I mean A LOT. But I also found out that I am actually pretty good at writing. I also found a job which has me filled with so much joy and excitement, because I am constantly learning new things and get to experience a lot of things I wouldn’t have before. I also met some of the nicest colleagues and boss you could ever ask for. And I am super excited for all the things that will come up next. I also spend a lot of time on myself, eating healthier, exercising, making better choices. All of which lead to a much, much happier me.

Now I am not the biggest believer in New Year’s resolutions, so instead I always set myself goals that I want for the next few years that I can achieve and which I truly want to do. I won’t share my 2019 goals with you, those are my personal ones. But I am sharing with you something I will do for myself starting with January 1st. Social Media is a big part of my life, so is this blog and for that matter my phone. But I don’t want my life on these platforms. I want a life in real life. So in order to see if I have forgot how to actually life I will take some time away from Social Media and my phone. 

I decided to mute all my notifications, put all my apps except the ones I actually need for my lifestyle (like phone, calendar, mail and to a certain degree messages) into a folder and don’t touch them. First I was going to set myself a time frame, but I think I just have to see how long I can live with the FOMO. It’s going to be hard not to see what everybody is up to or answer all messages right that second. But I believe for myself, especially for my mental health, this will be good. This also means taking a break from my blog, I will probably still write some pieces, or write down ideas, but I won’t publish anything. At least for the entire January. This also gives me much more extra time in January since I have a million to-do’s for College and I want to focus my attention on these things. I obviously will write about my experience, but I don’t know when this will be. I don’t want to put any pressure on me, I just want to see, how I change and how my lifestyle is changing.

Would you do it with me? Like and share this entry and participate in your own way. And get back to me with your experience when you’re ready.

Guys, thank you for an amazing year for my blog and I wish you all a happy New Year, may all your dreams and wishes will come true!

I wish you all a wonderful night!

XoXo, Jasmin.

Coloring My Hair Pink & Realizing Things

Hey my loves,

today it’s going to be a little bit of a personal blog entry. The last couple of weeks were tough for a number of reasons and I struggled very hard to upkeep a positive mindset. And while I was in this situation and feeling down a lot, I looked at a lot of different blogs and YouTube channels from other content creators and fellow bloggers who struggle too and it helped. It made me realize that I am not alone in this.

But who got me through it all were my amazing friends who were and still are there for me, even if that means just making me laugh and not talk about it. Sometimes that’s just right. So a huge shout out and thank you to my friends! I love you girls!

Now, you might notice that I never actually talk about any struggles or at least never go into detail and to be honest that is just because I feel like sharing my problems, my private problems, is not something I want to do on a broad platform. But I kind of feel like I want to change that, but in a dimension where I don’t go into my family problems. But rather my struggles with staying motivated and positive.

A couple of days ago I had one of my moods growing out of struggles that just became too much and I decided I needed a change. And that change was dip-dying my hair pink.

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You might know the saying: A picture is worth a thousand words.

When I look at that picture I see a girl who struggled very hard the day before with all her emotions, a girl who had to put on makeup and get out of the house and pretend everything is okay the next one, because where she was going she couldn’t talk about her struggles.

But do you want to know what I also see?
I see a strong woman, who knows that she is stronger than the overwhelming feeling of pain. I see a strong woman, who puts a lot of people first and loves hard. And I see a woman, who is broken, but stands up every damn time.

I see a human with so many great friends, who are her family sometimes more than her actual one. And I see someone who at the end of the day knows that there is always something to live for, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Some days may be hard, some days may be great. That is just how life works.

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If you are struggling, if you are having dark thoughts, if you feel like you are alone in this world, know this: You are not alone. You are loved. You are worthy.
Please make sure to talk to someone. Here are some sites:

13 Reasons Why Info & Telefonseelsorge

Talk to your friends, to your family or reach out to stranger. You will be surprised.

What I am trying to say is: With all the social media out there, with all the “happy lives” you see, with all the “happiness” around, you can easily think that it is just your life, that it is just you. But here’s the thing: Everyone has struggles. Some are worse, some are not. But everyone has their own struggles they bear every day. Just because social media says something else – better – portrays something else, know this:

A picture says a lot more than what you can see.
A picture is a moment of pretense.

Yes, some pictures aren’t that, but let’s be real, most of the pictures are. Just remember that is okay too. You don’t have to show everyone your pain, but you also do not have to hide it.

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Now, I am going to sign off and spend the day reading for a term paper and trying not to procrastinate and Netflix instead.

I am very thankful for everyone here on this platform who follows and reads my blog! I hope you all have a wonderful day and spend it laughing!

XoXo,
Jasmin.

 

The “Real Sexism” Incident

Well, then. I already shared my opinion on feminism with you, my hesitation to call myself a feminist because of the negative connotations, and that if feminism is all about equality, I guess I do consider myself a feminist. Actually, just now, while I was preparing to write this entry, I asked myself if there is such a thing as masculism, and if there is such a thing, what shapes it would take.

The issue, to start this off more generally, with every social rights movement, political tendency or belief is that there are people who take it too literally, who go too far to promote it, who try suffocating everything that goes against their belief. I am not quite sure why that is. I guess humans are just bound to execute intolerance and destruction. Those people, the ones who take it too far, are called extremists. I already told you what I think about femen, but compared to other extremist groups, they are harmless, because writing stuff on your boobs does not have much of an effect, neither positive nor negative. Extremism can take much more dangerous forms, as we all know; the most prominent examples are al-Qaeda and the Aryan Brotherhood. People who terrorize and kill other people because of extremist believes. The backgrounds of extremism are normal things, painless things, that are unfortunately open to interpretation, like the Bible and the things people understand it as, a shocking example being the white supremacists who interpret the “creation” story in the Genesis book in the way that non-white people have no souls because they were made of mud.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, about a month ago, Jasmin sent me the link to Emma Watson’s #HeforShe speech, and, hesitant about the label “feminist” as I was, I posted the speech on twitter with nothing but the tag “Something to think about”. A short time after I had posted it, I received an answering tweet, and I thought, nice, I got a response! So I read the tweet and it had been sent by someone calling themselves @rapebombing. (A name that admittedly made me suspicious.) They had sent me a link, with the tag “Something else to think about”, and I thought, alright, give it a try, and what they had sent me was a site called realsexism.com, and for those of you whose attention was just grabbed, I think I will disappoint you in a minute, because none of the contents on this site were what anyone in their right mind could have called real.

What the Real Sexism Project appears to be about is that allegedly, men are the real victims of sexism. Now, I am not sure who ever claimed that men are never victim to sexism, but whoever concocted this site obviously believes sexism only sees females as the victims and men as the aggressors. Out of that mislead belief, the originator of realsexism.com collected a myriad of statistics and facts, some of whom are completely unconnected to the issue of sexism (e.g. “89 % of men will be the victim of at least one violent crime”), some of whom are enunciated a little too vaguely to be taken seriously (e.g. “40 – 70 % of domestic violence is against men”), and some of whom just plainly sound fictitious (e.g. “Court bias against men is at least 6 times bigger than racial bias”).  What the originator has done, as is common with extremists, is that they took studies and surveys from universities and other academic facilities and interpreted these in the way that they wanted to interpret them. This is how extremism works, how it always has worked and always will work – extremists will go to you and say, what I am saying is not wrong, and then they will show you their evidence, the evidence they apprehended by twisting and turning things, looking for loopholes and leeway.

“What gets us into trouble is not what we don’t know. It’s what we know for sure that ain’t so.” Mark Twain

What depressed me for the rest of the day after I had received that tweet was that this person, whoever they might be, has a hundred and fifty-eight followers on twitter. A hundred and fifty-eight. This means that a hundred and fifty-eight people either believe in what this person says or even support it. A hundred and fifty-eight people does not sound like a scandalizing amount, but the issue is that this person, this extremist (or maybe it even is a group of extremists, who knows) is able to spread their extremist views on the internet just like other people are spreading cute cat gifs on 9gag and everybody in the entire world has unlimited access to it. The realization that people’s minds are weak enough to fall for it is depressing enough, but the internet has made it infinitely easy to spread your believes. Hell, I am feeding you my believes and thoughts right here, in the moment that you are reading this, as well as every time I post something on facebook or share something on twitter or write a story and publish it on fanfiction.net or archiveofourown.

What this boils down to is that extremists have always existed and will always exist, but the internet has changed the world, it has changed how people interact and how they gain knowledge, and on that day in September, when this person responded to my tweet for #HeforShe, I understood that nowadays it is ridiculously easy for extremists to gain followers, and it scares me. This person has a hundred and fifty-eight followers on twitter, and they will gain a lot more over time because humans are pliable and have to believe in something, and sometimes all it takes is one wrong turn.

What appealed to me about #HeforShe is that it is in no way extreme. Emma Watson’s speech was directed at women and men, and she accorded both sexes the right to equality and the ability to fight against discrimination, because #HeforShe is aware that both sexes are victim of discrimination, in all its different forms.

All I wish for today is that you, the readers, consider your believes and consider them carefully. There is no right way of thinking, but we all must be aware of the intrinsic truth that says that all humans are created equal and deserve equal rights and equal treatment, and should you ever come across anything that violates that truth, obviously or insidiously, you should think twice about believing it.

Don’t give extremists a chance.

“We came equals into this world, and equals shall we go out of it.” George Mason

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