Hey my loves,
Last week I talked about my final year of College and mentioned my personal development story. I thought I would touch on that a little more and tell you what I mean with that.
This year has been a year of change for me. I do not even know where I should start, but I guess I start with the beginning.
I always said that I felt comfortable in my skin and while to a certain degree that was true it changed in the last three years. I was getting to a point where life just seemed to throw bigger and bigger rocks at me. And last year towards the end of it, I decided that it is enough.
I didn’t want to live in a world where I felt displaced and out of order yet alone not in control and I started to look what I can change and I found myself at a mountain of possibilities. So instead of changing my surroundings or dive into something that I would not have been able to do, I decided in order to better my life: I HAVE TO BETTER MYSELF FIRST.
So I did, am still doing.
I decided that I would start with seeing everything as a challenge that I can do, instead of letting myself be muffled by anxious feelings. It was hard at first and to some degree still is, so I would say it’s a work in progress. Everything that was thrown at me I started to handle with these thoughts in my mind:
Will it affect my life in two years?
If it does not matter in two years, why make a big scene? Just accept that something is going wrong or not going the way you imagined it to be. Learn that not everything is in your control.
Will it matter next week? Next month? Next year?
This is basically the same thing as I said before, but in a short period of time. Is it just bad right now? Or will it be bad for a longer time? What can I change? How should I deal with it?
What can I do to make the situation more comfortable for me?
Obviously this won’t make everything go away, but I have found that talking about why I am uncomfortable or that I do not wish to do a certain things is more likely to be accepted by my friends/family than I ever thought. Just be honest to yourself and to the people in your life. They won’t judge you for what you’re feeling, even if they don’t understand it.
What can I change about it that I can do right now?
Is there a way that I can change the situation and if so what do I have to do to make a change? Should I maybe start with myself? Or does the problem lie somewhere else?
While early on in my life I would have had a freak-out or a desperate crying session I now surround myself with tools to handle these types of situations. Sometimes a big old breathing in session is all you need, trust me. Just give yourself a couple of seconds to think about it, to let it sink in. It might not seem as bad a couple of minutes later.
Another thing I changed in myself is my body.
And that started with my mind. While I’ve always been comfortable in my skin, I always felt like an outsider simply because of my weight. But here’s the thing, if you don’t care about it, it’s more likely that everybody else won’t care about it either. What I mean with that is, I let myself be strung back by my weight, I pushed myself down and had thoughts like “Well they wouldn’t like me anyway!” or “Nobody that looks like me would do that”.
So I changed my mindset, I told myself:
Your weight does not define the person you are. You do.
Your weight is not holding you back. You are.
And I tried to figure out what I can do to change my thinking. And for me it was pretty clear that in order to change my thinking I have to lose some weight, because, truth be told, I did not feel comfortable in my skin anymore. In order to lose the weight, in a healthy and continuous way, I had to change my lifestyle. I want to be as healthy as I can. I have not set myself a goal weight, because I believe that the number on the scale should not define the way you feel. I don’t count calories or follow a diet or at least no longer. But that is a story for another time. Instead, I am going to the gym and portion control my food and I chose healthier options.
My body has changed, my mind has changed.
I’ve lost over 20 pounds so far. I am proud of my achievement, but what I am more proud of is that I managed to stay on track, that even though some day might not be a good and healthy day, that as long as I am active and live 80 percent of my time healthy that it was okay. I am a happier, more confident and a more positive person: and I did that.
I got a job beside my studies, I can barely sit still and I do much more with my friends than before. I pulled myself out of hole and plastered it up. And I am still working on it, on me. I have so many more things I want to do to change my life around, but I will do it one step at a time. For now, what I am doing is working and in a year’s time, who knows where I’ll be at.
I hope I could give you somewhat of a good insight into my personal development story. If you have any question, feel free to ask them in the comments or DM me on Instagram or Twitter. You’re also more than welcome to shoot me an Email if you prefer that.
I wish you all a wonderful day!